And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.
– Hebrews 11:6
My journey to and through motherhood has been a rollercoaster of emotions as I’m sure many of you can relate. Motherhood is such an amazing experience as well as a God-given privilege. Although, learning to adapt to our many roles as women and striving to be the best mom possible can be trying at times and may seem overwhelming. My goal in this blog is to help inspire and increase your faith through scripture and devotions applied to mommy life because with every experience there’s a verse to help you through it. But first here’s a little about me and my testament to faith.
When I got married I never wanted anything more than to start a family and to have children right away. I thought I had it all figured out and I truly believed I knew the perfect way to raise them…simple, right? I mean how hard can it be? Well, for me it wasn’t so simple…just becoming pregnant in itself was a challenge and seemed to be at some point like it may never even happen. My faith in the Lord was fairly new at the time and my relationship with Him was pretty much nonexistent. I’ve always believed there was a God but never prayed much or ever read the Bible. Month after month kept passing by along with one negative pregnancy test after another. I felt defeated and hopeless, I felt like I was disappointing my husband and worst of all I felt like a failure as a woman.
I began to pray and I started to read the Bible. I engulfed myself in learning more about the Lord and yearning for His presence in my life. I listened to Christian radio, watched only Christian movies, attended women’s bible study/retreats and began evangelizing through social media. I felt compelled and moved by the Holy Spirit to do these things and it really raised my spirit and faith. My motivation was not to do all of this because I thought it would get me pregnant. Actually, many of my prayers in the beginning were to obtain knowledge of the Lord and to have Him come into my life and guide me. I never felt like praying for pregnancy because I believed that it was such a selfish prayer and besides the Lord knew my hearts desire anyway. Although, later I did realize that the Lord does want us to ask for our desires and if it’s in His will for our life He will grant them to us.
As I started to build a relationship with the Lord I noticed that He began answering many of my prayers and questions through scripture and events in my life. He placed in my heart the revelation that I would have children so I knew I just needed to remain patient and wait for His timing. Fast forward to three and half years and still no pregnancy. I felt the pressure from friends and family that I should seek medical attention. I even felt at some point that maybe this was how the Lord would grant me my children. I was so confused but yet I still felt like the Lord was telling me to wait a bit longer. This is when I finally gave in and started to pray for pregnancy.
On May 5th 2016 my husband and I traveled to Israel and we visited the Western Wall. It was there that I poured my heart out to the Lord. With tears running down my face I prayed for a child. I felt very much like the biblical figure Hannah as she had done the same. Three months later I became pregnant and in exactly a year from the date of my trip to Israel I had a beautiful healthy baby boy on May 4th 2017. Coincidence? I think not! Only by the Lords grace and power was this possible. In addition to this blessing two months after I had my baby boy I became pregnant again and had a baby girl in March of this year. My babies are only 10 months apart making them technically twins…or at least I like to think of it that way.
What more can a woman ask for at this point? Life should be a breeze from here on out and happiness is all I should feel…right? Little did I know that my journey through motherhood and faith was and is going to be tested. Yes, along with happiness there were feelings of uncertainty, doubt as a mother, questions of my abilities and trials in my relationship. To add-on top of all of that there was a little something called postpartum depression.
After the birth of my son my walk with the Lord began to fizzle as I was not reading the Bible or praying as I had been before. I began to realize that this wonderful journey of motherhood that I so yearned for became difficult to handle at times. I started to look online for similar Christian mothers written expierences and the scripture they used to get them through it but could not find much. This inspired me to write my own as well as restore the key component in my life that was missing which was my relationship with the Lord.
So as my beautiful journey as a mother and a wife continues so does my journey with the Lord through prayer and scripture.
Your sister in Christ,